glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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