I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
