Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
