Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
There's always time for handjobs
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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