no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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