She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Randomize
