There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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