Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
