Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Randomize
