I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
It's just like the Real World with babies
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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