We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
