I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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