the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
