I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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