Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
