Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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