omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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