this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
