Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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