Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
