i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
