If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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