hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
