"it" just moved
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I have already put on my inside pants.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
