So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
pop tarts are not kleenex
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Randomize
