What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
