put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
farters have to be the big spoon...
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
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