You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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