I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
he shaved USA in his pubs
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
