i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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