when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
