That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
