i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
