Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
