I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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