Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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