that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
