what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
