So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
That accounts for only three of the penises
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
