sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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