Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
