:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
