he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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