I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
