just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
