I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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