i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
