She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
