What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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