i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
